Sunday, June 9, 2013

So it begins...

Welcome to my journey..one of hardships, triumphs, love, and laughter. One of insecurities, disappointments, self-discovery, and overcoming fear.  Wanna know who I am?  Then take a ride with me through this journey of "blessings." 

This ride towards seriously pursuing music started over 5 years ago. But what most people don't know, is that singing was a passion of mine since I was a wee child...so much so, that I was thisclose to applying to the Laguardia High School for Performing Arts.  Yes, ya'll, the FAME school!  Here I am, a young child going through the dreaded high school directory, trying to pick the 10 schools I wanted to apply to, but the ONLY one I wanted was Laguardia. I obsessed about it...I dreamt about it...I KNEW this was where I belonged.  As I read through the criteria and requirements for applying...something caught my eye that stopped me dead in my tracks....AUDITION!  For anyone wanting to apply to any of the music related classes, whether you played an instrument, danced or sang, you had to audition. Which meant going up in front of a stranger or two (maybe more) and singing. To me, at that age, the slightest thought of singing in front of ANYONE on a stage, was terrifying. Oh yeah, I sang my little heart out in front of my family, but that was at home, to songs playing on the radio.  The mere thought of performing? No way! 


A decision that, if I could go back in time, in a funky, cool DeLorean, I would soooo make that audition!  Fear paralyzed me. It took a hold of me in the worst way.  But I learned that I was the only one getting in the way of my dreams.  As I moved on to college, opportunities became available for me to perform, either at campus events or shows, where I made a conscious decision to start overcoming this fear. These moments began to chip away at that doubt I had as to whether or not I could do this without falling flat on my face because I was no nervous.  Oh, I was still a wreck when it came to performing (and I have video to prove it....how stiff was I?? LOL) but those nerve-wracking moments made me realize that it WAS possible! With more practice, I can nail this thing.  Over the years, public speaking and facilitating workshops helped me overcome my fear of being in front of a group, all eyes on me.  My confidence skyrocketed! 


Fast forward, and here I am.  Making something happen now, that I couldn't do then.  I can beat myself up, and whine about how much I regret not going to that audition. I can wonder "where would I be now had I gone to that high school? How different would my life be?"  But I don't, because all experiences I've had since then have led me to where I am right now.  And this was where I was supposed to be, all along.  


As I move forward into the next phase of this journey, persistence, hard work, focus and support from my family and friends will push me to the end result I've always wanted.  This, right here, right now....is my audition.  And it's time to take the stage.


First performance in the LES